Ask and you shall receive.
At least that seems to be the case in Athens.
Do you want a caged football field-sized pen at the city park so your parakeet can get some fresh air?
Bam! Your own Athens genie, the city council, will take care of it for you.
Do you want an Olympic-sized swimming pool filled with Jell-O just so you can feel the squishy goodness between your toes?
Poof! Your wish has been granted.
As of late, it seems anyone with a halfway feasible idea is taking up a considerable amount of the city council members' time.
One of the biggest failures in recent city council history is a good example.
The Mid-day Express bus route was proposed to council as the end-all be-all of good ideas.
Councilwoman Carol Patterson spoke in great rhetoric about how the poor Uptown restaurants were losing business because people couldn't get there for lunch.
And of course the restaurants were on board. Why wouldn't they be? They're not stupid. By providing virtually no additional work or money they could potentially increase their lunchtime business.
When someone hands you filet mignon on a platter, and tells you to eat, you'd be crazy not to.
But the mid-day bus route is hardly city filet mignon. In fact, it's more like baloney.
As of last week, the poorly attended route had only 70 passengers in three months. That's less than one person a day. But somebody's dream came true, simply because they had the courage to ask.
Asking for things does not always produce frivolous results in this town.
Take, for example, the nuisance party ordinance: a group of Athens residents simply wanted peace and quite in their neighborhoods. They asked and they have received.
Aaahh. It's wonderful to see government at work.
(Someday when you're all grown up and have real a job and a family life that requires you to be in bed by 10 p.m. every night, you'll understand why this ordinance is a good thing.)
What does your heart desire? Call councilwoman Sarah Sexton, she can help. Call councilman Dale Tampke, he'll see what he can do. Call councilwoman Nancy Bain... actually don't bother, she hasn't listened to or implemented a student's point of view since the 1980s.
Oh! I forgot to mention, wishes for better parking, clean streets, livable housing, eradicating potholes and domestic partner benefits are not redeemable by the city council genie. Even though he is more than 2,000 years old, these problems outdate him.
But go ahead with that wish for an escalator on Jeff Hill - your wish is my command.
17 Archives
Lauren H McDowell
