U.S. — A new national poll from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) asking about the mood of different Americans shows that 96 percent of Americans are just tired. The poll simply asked, “Are you okay?” and the highest answer received by far was “Yeah I’m just tired.” Without providing further details, nearly every response was vague in this manner, stating only the single fact of exhaustion without any other details provided.
“It’s certainly strange,” Dr. Edward J. Sondik, the NCHS agency executive, told reporters. “If those 96 percent of Americans need anyone to talk to, we’re here. But it really doesn’t seem like they want to open up. Or maybe they really just didn’t get enough sleep or something.”
When worded differently, similar questions yielded the same result. The question “Is anything wrong?” was, in general, simply answered with “No I’m just tired,” occasionally followed by a “thanks for asking though.” Every now and then, vague terms such as “long day” or “got a lot to think about” would appear in responses, although these were found to be rarer than the basic answer.
“The remaining 4 percent of responses were mostly just, ‘I’m fine,’” Sondik said. “Less than 1 percent provided any meaningful response, like ‘good’ or ‘bad.’”
Although surprised by the responses, the NCHS simply left America to their tiredness, trusting that the country was telling the truth.
“You know, if they don’t want to open up, that’s OK” Sondik said. “I’m not gonna push them. If something was really wrong, I’m sure they’d let me know.”
The center does not plan on taking any specific action for this seeming epidemic. Although the statistics themselves may prove useful, many seem uncertain that anything at all can be done about the problem.
When asked about how the poll went, Sondik reportedly responded, “It went fine I guess.”
Marco Omta is a sophomore studying music production. Are you "just tired"? Let Marco know by emailing him at mo183714@ohio.edu.
