True love will never let you down
By Matt Bixenstine
Across from this very print, Shugar is going to try to tell you that sports are more vital to your life than love. Don't buy it, not for one second.
The basic human needs necessary for survival include water, air, food, stable temperature - and love.
Yes, the acts of loving and being loved, whether by family, friends or significant others, are essential to all human beings. Life would go on if sports as we know it were to suddenly vanish from Earth. The same could not be said for love. For that reason alone, it's ludicrous to compare sports to God's greatest gift to humankind.
Granted, sports can be an enjoyable experience. But the world of sports is polluted with the vile filth of Kobe Bryant, Pete Rose, the New York Yankees, holdouts, strikes, steroids, mediocrity and a complete lack of major Cleveland championships since the 1964 Browns.
Even if love has a different meaning for you, sports still pale in comparison. Unless you happen to be a professional athlete or at least a high school football quarterback, sports will never get you laid.
So spend this Saturday with someone special rather than with ESPN Classic. Watch Cupid shoot his arrows rather than overpaid NBA players shoot brick-inducing jumpers.
I have no problem making this confession: I would sacrifice sports altogether if necessary to find true love, though I hope it never comes to that. John Lennon and Paul McCartney said it best - all you need is love.
Athletics are constant, never failing
By Mark Shugar
My roommate settled this whole debate as soon as I mentioned the topic. Are we talking about love against sports or getting lovin' and sports? he said, because with one there is no contest.
That is the defining point: Love is optional and sports are not. In almost every way sports are just superior to love.
Take money for example. When you are in love, you pay for movies, food, flowers that die in a week and therapy when things go from great to goodbye.
Sports can be enjoyed in front of your TV, with a group of your friends cheering and booing by your side, and sports will never turn their back on you. Every morning when I wake up, ESPN's SportsCenter will be there.
Love is represented by people like Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts, who are the sports equivalents to Eric Lindros and Tonya Harding. Lindros and Grant will not stop whining and no man will ever like them. Roberts and Harding have too much baggage.
Heck, if he had an English accent, Woody Paige could star in a chick flick.
If my friends could watch from the stands, predict my stupid lines and obvious moves all for the sake of their fantasy team while booing the girl when she walks out on me, then love would be better than sports.
Until then, I'd rather hear game on than get your game on.
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Matt Bixenstine and Mark Shugar
