Bill Murray is not invited to my wedding.
That’s mostly because I don’t know Bill Murray, and I’m not in the habit of inviting complete strangers to my family gatherings. It’s also because I have no immediate plans to get married. If I were getting married, I have no idea how I would tell Bill Murray.
Still, if I were about to take part in a wedding, and Bill Murray decided he wanted to come, let the records be very clear: he is not invited.
I say this because Murray seems to be the figurehead of a confusing trend — one based on the idea that if a celebrity crashes your wedding or wedding-related event, you should be charmed and honored. Never mind the rules of basic civility, which state that imposing yourself on other people is generally a bad move.
News sites like to write gushy, clicky stories about such antics. Murray has been cited as showing up in couples’ wedding photos and at bachelor parties, and the flood of positive media coverage at each of those instances has generated a lot of copycats, from Beyonce to Bon Jovi to Tom Hanks.
Sometimes, as was the case when Taylor Swift showed up to perform at a couple’s wedding, the appearances are the actual result of an invitation. In those cases, the couples probably never think the celebrity will actually respond, much less attend. But more often than not, the celebrity is vacationing somewhere and happens to be in the same hotel or walking along the same beach where a wedding is taking place.
Either way, I find it hard to believe Taylor Swift genuinely just wanted to do a good deed and offer some free entertainment to a couple she didn’t know. In fact, based on her attacks on platforms like Spotify, I would imagine she’d be quite opposed to the concept of performing without recompense. No, Swift knew there would be cameras there and that she could likely get a bit of free advertising out of the gig.
Call me a cynic, but I wouldn’t be too willing to let someone use my wedding as a public relations opportunity. I don’t want my wedding to be about you, Ms. Pop Star. I want it to be about me. Or, you know, the person I love.
I don’t blame Swift too much. It’s the stars who attend weddings without invitations who really frustrate me. It isn’t a sign of benevolence or relatability, it’s a sign of an inflated ego. It’s a sign that someone is so detached from reality that they believe everyone should want to be around them.
Frankly, I don’t know if I want to be around Bill Murray. By all accounts, he’s a pretty nice guy, but I’m fairly content just letting him be that nice guy on the big screen, not that nice guy in person.
So, please, Mr. Murray, and celebrities in general — if I ever do get married, try to find another party to attend that day.
Besides, there’s only so much champagne to go around.
William T. Perkins is a senior studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Will you have enough champagne at your wedding for Bill Murray? Let William know by emailing him at firstname.lastname@example.org.