If you and your significant other are fighting all the time or not enjoying the time you spend together, or everything he or she does seems to grate your last nerve, you may be headed towards a break-up. Breaking-up is something that everyone has endured in their adolescent lives and unless you get lucky and find true love relatively early in life, it will continue to plague you into adulthood.
Given that a simple search on www.google.com using the keyword break-ups returned a massive 19,000,000 Web sites, it can safely be assumed that this is a popular topic. How does one weather a break-up and come out successfully? No matter whether you are the dumper or the dumpee
there are emotions attached to the situation.
The hardest part of breaking-up is initiating the talk. This can be a hard topic to bring up, so make sure to rehearse what you wish to say before a face-to-face confrontation. Be open and responsive to any pertinent questions that the other person might ask, and also be honest in your answers. Something that might help is finding a neutral spot to have the talk.
Picking a spot that the two of you frequented as a couple or a place that has feelings attached to it could get in the way of what you are there say. This conversation is your chance to get everything out in the open -i.e. your feelings and thoughts about the relationship.
Whether you are initiating the break-up or not, this provides a forum to openly discuss topics you might have previously shied away from. This is the chance to put all the cards on the table and decide the future of your relationship.
Should the relationship end, obviously you are now single. Now what do you do? Depending on the length of time that you spent in the relationship, being by yourself and having so much free time might be scary.
You may have grown accustomed to him or her always being around and there to occupy free time, but now you can focus on yourself. The first thing you need to do is get out of the house, dorm room or apartment and do something. Take some time to get reacquainted with friends -the same ones you neglected when you were in the relationship.
Have a boy's night out at the bar or a girl's night in with facials, junk food, and movies. Rediscover that hobby that fell by the wayside when you started to spend all your free time with the ex. Break out the scrapbook, dust off the X-BOX controller or get involved with something new.
Another option for that free time is studying for classes that seemed to have gotten pushed aside in favor of other pursuits. Contrary to The Princeton Review's image of our school, that is the point of attending college. Raising your grade in economics or putting forth the extra effort for a project this quarter could help you reap the rewards at the end of the quarter.
The great part about being single again is meeting new people. Take a chance. Say Hi to the hottie in English class or the cutie who is always in the dining hall at the same time you are. Another great way to meet people is by joining a club that interests you. There are so many around one is bound to fit your needs, and you will already have something in common should you meet someone there.
A more fail-proof way to meet someone is obviously going to a bar or restaurant Uptown. There are tons of single guys and girls on the prowl looking for someone. Whether you are out for a one-night-stand or looking for something a little more meaningful, there is someone out there perfect for you. There is no rule that says you have to get right back into the saddle if you want to take some time for yourself, but a little harmless flirting to stoke your ego won't hurt.
The death of a relationship can be a hard and emotional time. Its OK to shed a few tears, shred some pictures and just be sad about what has come to an end. The world will go on and there are people in the world -like friends and family -who will always love you and never leave you. Mourn the loss and move on with your life. You do not need a boyfriend or girlfriend to define you. Be happy being you and being single in Athens.
-Ashley Henry is a sophomore journalism major. Send her an e-mail at ah628704@ohiou.edu. 17
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Ashley Henry
