Go to Ohio University's official athletics Web site. Just do it.
WHOA! Did you see that scary introductory page, the one with the green, nasty eyes and a vicious font that leaves you scared for your life?
I did. Then I promptly skipped the intro permanently.
To me, it seems a bit lofty to promote this OU-Miami rivalry or supposed hatred as a marquee event. Come on, just look at the two teams competing.
The Bobcat basketball squad has more inconsistencies than tapioca pudding and has experienced its fair share of ups and downs this season. To the surprise of many, they haven't been competitive enough to make a real run in the Mid-American Conference and have struggled to fully adapt to John Groce's system.
On the other hand, Charlie Coles has been at Miami since I've been able to remember my address. Thirteen years ago, the hard-nosed coach - who actually looks like a hawk - took over the Miami program after coaching at Central Michigan for six years.
They had a nice run to the dance a couple years ago but have been stuck in neutral ever since those crazy Pollitz brothers either a) graduated or b) returned for a seventh year.
Ohio is at .500, Miami is five games over but not really a contender in the MAC. This sets up for one of those rivalry gamz LOLZ!*& and one that could set The Convo floor ablaze with tradition. Sadly, it won't.
Just look at football, it's even worse.
The RedHawks have a new coach this year and will probably still be as poor as their stadium. Their Web site claims they got FieldTurf in 2003 (sweet!) and have this distinct home-field advantage.
Let it be known that the program hasn't been the same since Motorcycle Ben throttled up for the NFL and won himself some Super Bowls.
I can confirm that he did in fact wear a helmet during football games at Miami.
If only the Bobcats could get back on their paws, this rivalry would be a can't-miss on the gridiron. Unfortunately, until that decade rolls around, students will continue to day-drink on the last weekend of November.
I had some catchy ideas for this rivalry edition of the column, but shedding light on this rapidly-deteriorating rivalry stole the spotlight. Sure, the two teams might hate each other and wear those humiliating Muck Fiami shirts (as if your parents don't know what that means, freshmen), but this series is weak at the moment.
So, what about OU-Miami is worth paying attention to?
Easy: Recycle Mania.
If you dine regularly at Nelson on South Green, you will notice that a giant white board lists the contenders for the nation's largest intercollegiate garbage fight. As many as 12 schools are written in faint dry-erase marker, and yet again, those RedHawks have the lead.
There is one small problem: the board hasn't been updated since week three of the competition, and there's really no telling when it started or how long it continues. Miami is in third place according to Nelson's white board and OU trails significantly, dabbling somewhere outside the top eight schools.
Want to contribute to beating the @!%* out of Miami? Put your newspapers and other miscellaneous recyclables in the appropriate bin. Be the team MVP and read this column, then put the paper in the recycle bin. Easy win.
The proof is in the pudding ... it's inconsistent and very vanilla.
It used to be that the most entertaining part of watching an OU-Miami basketball game was trying to identify the Pollitz brothers as they dominated the Bobcats' interior defense.
Now, it's pretty common to be on the exterior.
Rob Mixer is a senior studying journalism and the hockey writer for The Post. If you'd like to recycle your Muck Fiami poster, send him an email at rm234405@ohiou.edu.
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Rob Mixer
