Dear Pillow Talk,
So, my girlfriend and I of a year just broke up (we live together), and I'm having a hard time dealing with her flirting with other people, especially since we know ALL of the same people and come home to the same place. How do I work with this jealousy and not make a fool of myself?
- Live-in Lady
Live-in Lady,
First off, let me say that I'm very sorry you're in this situation. Breakups really suck, and I imagine they only suck that much more when your ex is always in your space - even if it's his or her space too.
With that being said, you wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't decided to sign a lease with your girlfriend. I don't think anyone in college should sign on to live with their significant other. Ever. No matter why you think it's a good idea, it isn't, so don't even think about it. Even the best relationships have the potential to go bad. Why take the risk?
Obviously it's a little late to be telling you not to move in with your (ex) girlfriend, so now you've got to figure out how to make the best of a pretty bad situation. I think the only way you can realistically do so is to come to an agreement with your ex on how you're going to live together.
And yes, that means you're going to have to talk with her about how you're feeling. I suspect that if she cared enough about you to live with you, she is also hurt, which might be why she's flaunting new love interests in front of your face. Tell her how much that hurts you and ask her to put herself in your position.
Because you aren't together anymore, you can't ask your ex to not date or hook up with anyone else (she can't ask you to do that either), but maybe you could find a system that minimizes hurt feelings, such as not bringing new people to your place until the break up is isn't as fresh.
Whatever happens, do keep your cool. People will expect you to be hurt, so as long as you don't go overboard, others will understand how you're feeling, and you'll come out of the situation looking like the bigger person.
- Mallory Long is a senior studying journalism and women's studies. Ask her your questions about sex and love in the culture section of thepost.ohiou.edu, at postpillowtalk@gmail.com or follow Pillow Talk on Twitter at @post_pillowtalk.
3 Culture
Mallory Long
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