Dear Pillow Talk,
My friend introduced me to this guy at a party and we really hit it off. We spent the entire time talking and he asked for my number. He called me the next day and we spent the next four days hanging out. But then, on the fourth day, he told me he loves me. I told him that that was way too fast and left, but now I am torn. I really like him, but I definitely am nowhere near in love with him. Should I continue to date him and see where it goes, or should I be worried that he got so attached so fast?
Sincerely,
PENNAME
Pen Name,
I’ve noticed as of late that people seem to be moving into relationships much more quickly than they used to, but not since middle school have I seen anybody in love within four days of meeting a partner.
I’m all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, especially since dating is hard enough as it is, but dropping the L-word less than a week into a relationship is a red flag.
I don’t think anyone can really believe they’re in love after only a few days, but even if a person really did think that, he or she wouldn’t say anything about it. I think most people are aware that it’s a little strange to profess your love to someone you barely know and wouldn’t do so for fear that it would be weird.
As for what to do next, follow your instincts. Personally, I don’t think I’d be able to maintain that relationship after spending so little time together, but it’s possible this guy was nervous or just opened his mouth too fast or really thought the feeling would be reciprocated.
If you still feel comfortable seeing him, you can, but make your boundaries clear. Politely but honestly tell him you’re not on the same page with use of the word “love,” and that you would prefer it not be used in the context of your relationship, and perhaps you should let him know you’d prefer things to move more slowly in general.
If he’s worth hanging on to, he’ll respect your wishes. However, if he continues to seem more serious about the relationship than you can handle, you should probably break things off before things go on for too long.
— Mallory Long is a senior studying journalism and women's studies. Ask her your questions about sex and love in the culture section of thepost.ohiou.edu, at postpillowtalk@gmail.com or follow Pillow Talk on Twitter at @post_pillowtalk.
@ThePostCulture
