“Wuts ur fav move in tha br”
Editor’s Translation: “What is your favorite sex move?”
— New Dog, Old Tricks
I usually start in “Grinding Crane” and move into “Grasshopper’s Lament,” when I get tired. Most of the time, I try to end with a “One-Legged Susan” (for the wow-factor), but I usually end up looking more like the Karate Kid when he does that jump-kick off the wooden post.
But, this column is not about me, New Dog; it’s about you. What I like doesn’t matter. So I am going to assume you are also asking how to spice up your sex life.
Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I have always considered sex to be an adult activity — you know, because of the whole pregnancy, STI risk and emotional-attachment thing. That’s my way of saying: If you are too young to know how to write, you don’t need to worry about sex moves, you need to worry about that cursive test you have next week.
But you tell me nothing about yourself, New Dog. So for the sake of argument, I will assume that you’re an amorphous, yet sexually inclined, blob of legal age (however you measure blob years). In which case, my sage, adult-blob advice to you is this. Try things that interest you.
If you want positions, most bookstores sell sex-position books. Go pick one up. If you want toys, go to a sex-toy party or just buy something online. If you want to try a major kink, most colleges have a subculture of people interested in whatever you can think of, and ours is no exception. Put the word out (carefully) and you should find what you are looking for in no time.
Alex Bill is a junior studying psychology and criminology.
The thing about women is, if given 40 minutes to decide between ranch and balsamic, we would take 45. We have no idea what we want — literally, no idea.
But I do know one surefire move women crave.
Confidence — from every angle. Whether it’s subtle eye contact or a firm grasp, women won’t perceive men as competent without confidence.
Beds squeak, bodies make weird noises, legs cramp and awkwardness exists, but despite all the obstacles people continue the race toward better sex.
Stop questioning if you are doing the deed right.
Both partners have different experience levels and follow different internalized Kama Sutras. Share. Sex is a team sport. No matter who’s wearing the plaid schoolgirl outfit, either partner can play teacher. New moves take guts, which exudes confidence.
We like it, we promise. Communication in the bedroom is key, but actions speak louder than words.
So forget what perfect sex looks like in movies, and remember: College girls are not desperate housewives yet, so we haven’t been around the block. We’re young and flexible and curious. Sex is still more of a mystery than a chore, and it is an adventure.
Steph Doan is a junior studying journalism.
If you have any questions for The BedPost, you can send them to: thebedpostpeople@gmail.com
