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Sharp Left Ahead: No ideal candidates running for 2012 Presidency

Is the Republican primary season too confusing for you to follow? Then this is your one-stop shop for a rundown on all the candidates this year.

Mitt Romney, the former governor of Massachusetts, is the clear front-runner, winning both the Iowa Caucus and the New Hampshire primary, even though he won Iowa by only eight votes.

The man certainly looks presidential, but that is his biggest problem. Looking like a disconnected businessman who could take your house if he made one call is not a good look.

I absolutely can’t stand his rich-man persona and his ill attempts at coming off as the down-to-earth guy who understands your problems.

One incident of Romney’s disconnect was when a boy gave him a $1 bill folded as an origami figure for good luck. When Romney went to pay back the boy for his deed, Romney fumbled through his wallet to find something less than a $100 bill. One of his aides had to offer him a $1 bill to pay the boy.

Rick Santorum has had a surge in the polls and lost to Romney in Iowa by only eight votes. However, after several offensive remarks made about homosexuals, the gay community used Google to give Santorum a new definition to his name.

The definition you’ll find for his name, now: “The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” Although Santorum is certainly much more down-to-earth than Romney, Google has this presidential hopeful beat.

Ron Paul, on the other hand, is really upsetting the GOP, mainly because he actually talks about policy and has some good ideas.

I’d go so far as to say that I would vote for the guy if he didn’t want to cut half the federal budget including the Department of Education and the Federal Reserve.

Not to mention his extremely racist newsletter that has many offensive comments to African-Americans and gays that panders to a small niche of racists. He has since apologized and disavows the comments made in the newsletter.

Newt Gingrich is old, fat and stuck in the  ’90s.

Rick Perry is somehow even worse than the last Texas governor to seek the presidential nomination.

Honestly, I don’t know much about Jon Huntsman, but the fact that he is the former diplomat to China for the Obama Administration must be a problem for a Republican candidate.

As a liberal, I was clearly rooting for Michele Bachmann, but I suppose you can’t win ’em all.

I don’t think Obama is the messiah, but considering all the crap that we have to do, he hasn’t done too bad.

An unemployment rate of 8.5 percent isn’t good and jobs are showing no signs of returning soon. But the one area that we all thought he would bomb is foreign policy (pardon my pun).

Turns out, that’s his strong suit: He ended the war in Iraq, won another war in Libya, and killed Osama bin Laden.

I would say that alone should be considered a successful four years. Throw health care reform and financial regulation on top of that and you have a pretty good record.

Please, Ohio University: When you vote in March for the Republican primary, vote for the person you think is best to lead, not the one most likely to beat Obama because, no matter what, this election season is going to come down to two less-than-ideal choices.

William Hoffman is a freshman studying journalism and political science, and a columnist for The Post. Were you on the Cain Train?

Let him know at

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