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Let's Be Unreasonable Here: Antics at Oscars can have disasterous endings

With the weekend’s 2012 Oscars red carpet still fresh in our minds, it’s time to consider the most memorable moment of the annually deified ceremony.  

And what was this most memorable moment, you ask? Was it Angelina Jolie’s scandalous show of her right thigh?  

No, no, but that most certainly would win the scariest moment of the Oscars. Even Brad Pitt could have struck a more graceful and less lewd pose.

But that’s beside the point. The actual most memorable moment of the Oscars was when Sacha Baron Cohen, creator and star of the political comedy Borat, dumped the pancake mix “ashes” of deceased North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il on the evening suit of a less-than-tickled-and-flattered Ryan Seacrest.

The publicity move designed to promote Cohen’s upcoming movie The Dictator certainly attracted its fill of attention.

Cohen, staying in character with his role as General Aladeen of the Republic of Wadiya, proclaimed in a tweet, “VICTORY IS OURS! Today the Mighty Nation of Wadiya triumphed over…Hollywood.”

But in the end, it seems that Seacrest could have the last laugh if he really wanted. Lawyers concluded that Seacrest could probably successfully sue for both civil assault and battery, which could be potential felonies if the courts were to stretch their reasoning.

There have been plenty of other controversies in the Oscars before. In 1960, Elizabeth Taylor won “Best Actress” for her portrayal of a bourgeoisie call girl in the movie Butterfield 8.  Ironically, Taylor then openly denounced the movie in which she acted her award-winning role.

Taylor reportedly called Butterfield 8 “a piece of obscenity,” admitting she only starred in the movie to fulfill her contract with MGM. Taylor declared, “I have never seen (the movie), and I have no desire to see it.”

Ouch. Imagine the director’s face. Talk about negative energy flow.

Stranger still, the Academy only officially recognizes movies that open from midnight Jan. 1 to midnight Dec. 31 in Los Angeles County, California. That is, theoretically, a movie could show in all the other 3,032 counties of the United States, but if it does not run in Los Angeles theaters, then it is not even considered an official movie by the Academy.

That, reader, is living proof of legalized geographic discrimination against all non-Los Angeles counties — that is, the rest of the United States that isn’t the direct hub of Hollywood.

In fact, an actual example of this rule was put into action in 2008. Although Katherine Bigelow’s movie The Hurt Locker was released in 2008, it was ineligible for both the 2008 and the 2009 Oscars nomination because it did not show in Los Angeles. After it did show in L.A., it was finally allowed to compete for the 2010 Oscars, in which it won Best Picture.

I suppose all’s well that ends well because Bigelow still got her Best Picture, but I don’t think the same can be said of Seacrest.

Nevertheless, I would suggest that Seacrest sell his ruined suit on eBay. I’m sure he could fetch a decent price for it, and then he could donate the profits to a charity, thereby making himself even more the consummate gentleman.

Kevin Hwang is a junior at Athens High School taking classes at OU and a columnist for The Post. Send him your ideas to liven up next year’s Oscars at kh319910@ohiou.edu.

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