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The Post

Cassie Fait, AfterTaste Columnist

Cassie Fait 

is a senior studying journalism and Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. Email her at or find her on Twitter at @foodiefait and Instagram at @cassiefait.

AfterTASTE: Gendered dining etiquette should no longer be the standard

For women, eating out in public was once considered indecent. Only men could experience the thrill of eating in restaurants. But then the rules slowly relaxed in many areas globally. Women could dine in Paris with an escort and never alone with a man that was not family or her husband. It was considered a thrill to be seen in society.

However, this is no longer the turn of the nineteenth century. Nowadays, women across the world can freely associate in dining settings.

The sense of dining decorum should apply to both genders. Standards should apply to both men and women. Women don’t need to be placed on pedestals. Both women and men should pull out the chairs for other dining companions. Men do not need to rise from their seats when women leave or arrive at a table. Women can just as well open the door for men.

Those outdated rules ignore other types of couples and relationships. These ridiculous sentiments are ingrained in a gendered society, resulting in an exclusive environment. The days of standardized nuclear families are gone. Dining etiquette should evolve to acknowledge those standards.

While eating out at a restaurant two weeks ago, I treated my marine boyfriend to dinner for Veterans Day. I wanted to celebrate and honor his service. When the waiter returned with the check and my debit card, he handed the card immediately to my date. Not only did he not look at the card, the waiter also automatically assumed that the man paid for the meal.

As many women in the United States are self-sufficient, I don’t understand the common assumption that men should pay for a date. I understand the original concept when women were not able to make a living, but most women are no longer confined to the household in modern day America.

What is so offensive about a woman paying for a man’s meal? It’s just as thoughtful for a woman to pay for the meal as a man. Women should pull out the wallet and split the check or treat a date. In the idea of equality for genders, women should take initiative in financing socialization.

Cassie Fait is a senior studying journalism and women’s, gender and sexuality studies. Email her at or find her on Twitter at @foodiefait and Instagram at @cassiefait.


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