Q: What is the difference between polyamory and polygamy? What about couples that “swing”?
A: Polyamory is the practice of, or desire of, intimate relationships with possibly more than one partner at a time. The prefix “poly-” is a Greek word that means “many” or “several”; the suffix “-amor” is a Latin word meaning “love.” So polyamory literally means “many loves.”
Polyamory requires open communication among partners and consent from all parties involved. Polyamory is different than polygamy because polygamy is the act of being legally married to more than one partner and is usually based around religion and culture practices. Also within polygamy, there is a power imbalance in that one individual is able to have multiple relationships, however, those who they are in relationship with are not able and/or allowed to have other relationships — one person is in control. Within polyamorous relationships and families, there is open communication, trust and equality; no one person is in control.
Being polyamorous is also different than being a “swinger.” Swinging is when two monogamous individuals consent to having recreational sex with other partners while polyamorous individuals are having open relationships with more than one partner with more than just a sex focus and create intimate relationships with their partners.
Q: If you are someone that is questioning their sexuality, is it important to land yourself into one of the distinctions on the spectrum?
A: I think it is all up to the individual to decide what is best for them.
Sexuality and gender identity is something that is very personal and fluid. It is okay to not be sure about your identity and to try different ones to find what makes you feel more “you.” If you choose to identify with a certain label, then others should respect that label even if you are still questioning. You are able to change your identity label as much as you want or need to because it is about YOU.
Sexuality and gender identity is very complicated and sometimes people take on different identities throughout their lifetime and sometimes people find one and it fits. There are some individuals who refuse to NOT be labeled; they do not want to be defined or limited to a specific or narrow understanding of any one label. For example, many have resonated with the term “queer” because it is an ever-changing term and can mean different things at different times in one’s life.
It is important to do whatever is best for you, and if you keep or change your identity, it is valid and should be respected.
Cassidy Paul (pronouns: she/her/hers) is the Education Coordinator for the LGBT Center and Women’s Affairs Commissioner for Student Senate.
Is there something you have always been curious about regarding sexuality and gender but have never been able to ask? Have a question about the LGBTQ community? Email them to lgbt@ohio.edu or oulgbtcenter@gmail.com, tweet @oulgbtcenter with #qaqueer, tumblr at oulgbtcenter, or post/message to the center’s Facebook page, oulgbtcenter. Individuals who submit questions will appear anonymously in our responses. ALL QUESTIONS ARE WELCOME! Don’t hold back! Query it!
