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Here’s what Athens bar you are, based on your zodiac sign

When it comes to nightlife in Athens, we have the absolute mecca of dive bars. It’s a place where a $5 pitcher of stale beer is a true delicacy. In our small town, we appreciate the dim lighting, the dusty pool tables, the 50-cent drunk pizza slices, the cash-only service and the local students who partially fund the business single-handedly. With nearly 20 bars, it can often be difficult to find which one best suits your personality and where you’re always sure to have an unforgettable night. 

From the club atmosphere of J Bar to the small-town feel of C.I., there are many other options in between that will bring you different experiences depending on where you end up and how you feel about a certain bar. There’s no doubt that some personalities are just made for certain bars and vice versa. Instead of going through your own trial and error, look to the stars to see where you would enjoy your time the most. Here’s what Athens bar you are, based on your zodiac sign:

Aries (March 21-April 19): The C.I. 

You’re always leading the pack for the night and complete every friend group you find yourself in. As the most aggressive sign of the zodiac, an Aries does best when they are surrounded by other hotheads. Truthfully, there’s no better place for you than C.I., where you can rage in all your own competitive glory. The testosterone-filled atmosphere basically smacks you in the face when you enter the bar, which makes it the perfect place for the masculine fire sign to exercise their alpha male attitude. 

To give the most accurate visual, Aries is the drunk person with their shirt off screaming at a football game in the middle of C.I. … but on a Monday night. 

Taurus (April 20-May 20): North End 

As a Taurus, you love the finer things in life. And, in Athens, you don’t get much finer than North End Kitchen + Bar. Tauruses love an atmosphere that is clean, enjoyable, serene and has a little taste of luxury. While this bar boasts a Mexican-inspired concept, it also is one of the most intimate places you can sit and relax for hours. 

As someone who is very picky about who they befriend and enjoys having a smaller social circle, North End is such a great option because of the amount of personal space it gives you with several different table options. Round up the girls, grab a table at North End, order a few house margaritas and you’ll feel like you’re on a luxurious vacation in no time. 

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Gemini (May 21-June 20): Courtside 

Gemini, you moody being, you. Represented by the symbol of twins, you’re most known for your dual personality that can switch with any given minute. At times, you’re the natural center of attention because you have a very whimsical aura that attracts everyone to you. At others, you have a tendency to gossip a lot because you have access to everyone’s information. Obviously, Courtside is where you belong because it’s best suited for social butterflies. 

With the crowded capacity, there’s more of a chance that you will be moving through the crowd the entire night. Since you have the ability to work a room, know pretty much everyone and charm anyone who passes by, Courtside is truly where you will thrive. Be careful, and don’t gossip too much in this atmosphere: everyone can hear you, and it’ll come back to bite you. 

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Red Brick

Honestly, you just need a place where you can cry in the corner without anyone noticing. Cancers are the most downright e-m-o-t-i-o-n-a-l signs of the entire zodiac; mix that with liquor, and we have a recipe for disaster on our hands. Red Brick is the perfect place for all your nightlife needs because when drama strikes (and it will), you can have several different options of escape routes: you can stay by the bar, slide into a booth, blend in on the dance floor or move your hangout to the downstairs bar. The options are endless! 

Pro tip: try to limit yourself to just a few of their $1 drinks or else the tears will be flowing in no time.

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Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Overhang

While a Leo’s personality can easily be associated with the social climate of J Bar, it doesn’t quite fulfill their emotional needs of being the absolute center of attention at all times. As a Leo, you need a bar where you can be annoying about it. Duh! Overhang is a guaranteed great night for a Leo because it won’t be as suffocatingly packed as the other bars and allows you (and the extravagant outfit we know you’ll be wearing) to not just blend in with the rest of the crowd. 

Nothing says “I love being the center of attention” more than some good ‘ol karaoke. Lucky for you, Overhang has it available on Wednesday nights. 

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Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Tony’s

The highlight of your night is when you Irish goodbye to your friends to go rip a Hot Nut shot at Tony’s. And, even better, it’s the most fun you’ll have the entire night. Virgos are definitely people who do not enjoy extremely crowded bars, and if the music is on full blast, just count them out. 

As one of the most down-to-earth and grounded signs, there’s nothing a Virgo would love more than sitting at a bar with their best friend drinking a cold Stella Artois, listening to classic rock and having a meaningful conversation. Tony’s provides the most adaptable atmosphere for a Virgo because its style is vastly different from the rest. Both complement each other well. Just like Tony’s, Virgos are so deeply underrated and have so many valuable qualities beneath the surface. 

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The J Bar

Lovely Libra, you love to flirt!

Libras are truly the Medusa of the zodiac (without the evil attributes). You can easily put anyone under your spell with your charm and have ability to make anyone feel special. Since you’re not afraid to provoke an insightful discussion, people feel so effortlessly close to you on so many different levels. There’s truly no better place to get your flirt on than The J Bar. Since so many people are constantly entering and exiting at all times, there’s endless opportunities to meet people throughout the night. Since the music is often so loud that you can barely hear, it’ll give you the chance to get even closer when talking to your crush or love interest. 

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Crystal 

Scorpios are a sign that don’t necessarily like being the center of attention. They often feel the most comfortable when they are hidden in a crowd and not easily seen. As one of the most aggressive water signs, they can always be out for blood or obsessing over someone. However, if you cross a Scorpio, they will take their grudge to the grave and have no problem cutting you off. 

Crystal is the perfect place for a Scorpio because it’s where they will most likely run into their enemy. While they will never throw a punch, Scorpios will lurk around and use manipulation as their defense. Once they find a reason to hate someone, their main goal is to just ruin their night. Rightfully so, Crystal is the perfect place for shrewd people to bond with other shrewd people. 

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Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Broney’s

Your constantly demanding schedule means you don’t get to go out on the town often. A Sag is always about their grind and sometimes a good time (if they can swing it). On the weeks where you’re more available than others, you love to let loose by being spontaneous and catching up with friends. 

Most times, this could translate into grabbing Broney’s fishbowl margaritas on a random Tuesday. When you’re in the middle of a heavy workflow, sometimes it can do more good than harm to allow yourself some fun here and there. You know you deserve it more than anyone!

Capricorn (Dec. 21-Jan. 20): Pawpurr’s 

As one of the most adaptable and flexible of the mutable signs, you would fit into any crowd you find yourself in. Capricorns are the sign you meet once and feel like you’ve known them your entire life. Pawpurr’s is the best atmosphere for your chameleon personality because it’s a melting pot for all different kinds of people. 

You can find fifth years, underclassmen, alumni and even townies in this bar, but you have the confidence and reliability to get along with all of them. Your personability is your superpower! We know you’ll put that dance floor to use as well.

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Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 18): The Pub

As someone who marches to the beat of their own drum, you’re never going to just follow the crowd. An Aquarius always has their big friend group and then their actual friend group of a few people they would literally bend over backwards for. 

While most of their friends might head in one direction down Court Street, an Aquarius is never afraid to go the opposite way to the bar they want to spend time at the most. Most times, their best friends listen to their intuitive advice and follow them to the different bar. As a nonconformist, your enthusiastic personality would closely match The Pub and its eccentric atmosphere. Since you appreciate the classics, we know you’ll love their infamous burger, which has been labeled “the best burger in Athens” for 25 years. 

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Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Stephen’s 

No one can read a room better than a Pisces. Their intuition and dreaminess is a valuable asset to their social life. They’re the kind of people who don’t do well in one large friend group but tend to find themselves a part of many different groups. As the eldest of the zodiac, Pisceans are old souls for their depth of compassion, empathy for others and wisdom that comes from well beyond their years. Stephen’s is the best bar option for a magical Pisces because of its intimate yet party-bumping atmosphere. While they love to be in their feelings most of the time, they balance it out by hitting the town with friends to momentarily distract themselves from their problems.

@Maadilewellyn

ml20341@ohio.edu


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