School is back in session, which comes with the highs and lows of balancing a social life, an academic life and an extracurricular life. For many, this can be a struggle with prioritization of commitments. For freshmen new to a college campus, this is the first time in their life they’re experiencing it.
As college students, we pay a lot of money to receive our degree, which means attending classes, studying and working toward good grades. This, however, doesn’t mean we should drop having a social life of clubs, organizations, friendships and relationships.
Having a relationship in college can come with its own highs and lows which, at times, can feel overconsuming.
The benefits of a relationship, specifically a healthy one, are truly a long list. This can be true at any age. Having companionship with someone you value and who values you makes getting through hardships easier.
These hardships are plentiful in college. Being away from family for the first time, long-distance friendships with hometown friends, failing an exam for the first time, etc. These are things you could face with your partner.
Experiencing love for the first time as an adult can be a trying experience. For many, this is someone you’re going to see a lot more of and go through harder experiences with compared to a high school relationship. This creates a deeper and more connected bond that could potentially last a lifetime.
For some, this connection is coming from an already developed relationship from high school. For others, this connection can be harder to come by in a time when hookup culture and dating apps are so prevalent. Dating apps in college can be a good way to meet people quickly, but there tends to be minimal connection and the best avenue for hook ups. If you are looking for a genuine connection, find clubs, mutual friends and/or the classic eyeing each other from across the room.
The downfall of relationships in college can come from bad time management. The largest part of college is being able to balance not only a relationship, but schoolwork, clubs and friends. Many people, especially freshman year, fall into the hole of not handling all the commitments that can come with college.
Not making time for your partner in a relationship, whether on campus or long distance, can severely hurt how your relationship plays out. But spending too much time with a partner can affect those other responsibilities.
This creates a Goldilocks effect for your time in college, finding that perfect balance in keeping your relationships, friendships and classes all happy. This helps if you start to integrate them together. Making time to study but doing this with a partner allows you to keep up with classes and spending time with your loved one. Going out with friends and having nights where those with partners invite them not only creates a bigger friend group, but also keeps up the standard of spending time with everyone.
There are, of course, going to be pros and cons to every decision made as an adult. Committing yourself to a relationship is no different. Having that special person but not being able to always meet new people. Having a genuine connection but committing to more time. Possibly finding that one true love but affecting other relationships with people who may feel abandoned.
My biggest advice to those who may need it is to set boundaries. Setting boundaries with everyone in your life, from family, friends, commitments and relationships is what is going to keep you balanced. Setting the boundary of “this is a friends-only night” is not avoiding time with a partner, but making time for friends. Setting a boundary of certain times you can see each other is not “I don’t want to see you,” but being sure to focus time on yourself and academics.
Having a relationship in college can be a grand thing. This article isn’t meant to scare but share what to expect. There can be some serious considerations to entering a relationship in college, and it shouldn’t be something that gets rushed into.
BedPost is a sex and relationship column that does not reflect the views of The Post.
