BDSM, roleplay and dirty talk. To some, this might be scary or uncomfortable; to others, it might turn you on. It may not be for everyone, but getting kinky in the bedroom is perfectly normal, and you should start to implement it.
Kinks are any non-traditional sexual preferences or fantasies acted out in the bedroom between consenting adults. This is not to be confused with fetishes that tend to be more specific to a reliance on a particular body part, material or object.
These forms of sexual play are very normal and should not be uncomfortable to talk about with a sexual partner who is also looking to explore. Being in a relationship, especially, means discussing what one desires in the bedroom.
The desire to explore kinks isn’t going to apply to everyone, though. Some people enjoy more vanilla sex, which is wanting more mainstream sexual preferences with little desire to explore. That’s perfectly normal. Finding a partner who has the same sexual tendencies, is willing to explore with you, or not at all, is important.
Conversations about sex and sexual desires tend to come later throughout the relationship; some do it to “spice things up,” but these conversations don’t have to wait.
Talking out kinks and sexual desires like light bondage, group play and power dynamics can be a very healthy thing in a sexual or romantic relationship later on. It doesn’t have to be scary to talk about sex. It’s a natural human instinct.
However, there are some important factors to keep in mind when exploring kinks and fetishes. Most importantly, make sure you’re safe.
Being safe when exploring kinks can help one learn to actually enjoy the kink, rather than feel like it is forced upon them. Consent, having a safe word and exploration with a sexual partner you already know well are vital. This helps ensure everyone’s safety, happiness and comfort.
When exploring with someone you’re already in a relationship with, it means check-ins during sex. Ask your partner if they’re comfortable, if they have concerns in the moment and want to continue. This will have lasting effects on the continuation of kinks.
Being sure to keep your kinks limited to the privacy of the bedroom is also important. Having kinks is nothing to be ashamed of, but it doesn’t mean all of Court Street needs to know that you like butt stuff. Keep the intimate aspects of yourself and your partner private. It’s much more fun that way.
Breaking the stigma and shame around kinks has proven to be hard. In a world of vanilla, don’t be embarrassed to be a girl who likes to get tied up or a frat boy who likes a finger in his butt every once in a while.
Learning to incorporate different desires in the bedroom with a sexual partner can help sex be the euphoric thing it is. Wanting to feel sexy in the bedroom can mean exploring your kinky side. Don’t feel ashamed for wanting to explore sexual fantasies.
The vital thing is to stay safe and to communicate with your partners, whether a girlfriend, boyfriend or someone you want to spank after a night out. Don’t be embarrassed, stay kinky, Athens.
BedPost is a sex and relationship column that does not reflect the views of The Post.
