I’m not one to provide advice on how to act confident, and I have spent most of my life working to perfect the "fake it till you make it" mantra. Confidence needs a new meaning because society is relying too much on how well they can be perceived.
People need to stop placing confidence in the hands or existence of others because confidence looks different for everyone, for some, faking it can be similar to wearing a mask. Stop faking it and start shifting your mindset.
The “fake it till you make it” mantra has taken hold of Generation Z, as 1 in 5 young adults rely on faking confidence. Faking confidence is sort of pointless as it doesn’t grow true skills and is more of an external accomplishment than an internal one.
Overall, there isn’t a point to seeming confident if it means nothing to you. It’s basically putting people’s perception of how well you are faking something into your full value.
Like so many, I have faced the dilemma of comparing myself to others. Past relationships of mine were rooted in arguments around celebrities or other women I felt I could never live up to. I had a hard time even seeing pictures of Billie Eilish, one of my favorite artists, or, honestly, anyone I knew my partner found somewhat attractive; it made me bitter for no real reason. I competed with celebrities who have teams of people to make them look perfect.
I was placing my complete worth in the fear that someone else would look at another person a certain way. This insecurity isn’t something I can fake getting rid of or just not talk about to avoid conflict.
In fact, even celebrities I compared myself with have said they also face insecurity. The same people who are on stage or in front of a camera almost every day are also struggling with how they view themselves. While we walk around forcing ourselves to put on a mask and appear confident to those around us, the people we idolize are doing the same.
Sam Claflin, who has starred in films like “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” and “Me Before You,” discussed his body dysmorphia with People magazine. He told People how difficult it was
He described his discomfort seeing his face on screen during premieres, even stating, “I’m incredibly insecure.”
Celebrities have people complimenting them and validating them. Compliments can build someone up, but this just means an insult has a fragile wall to knock down. Now with social media, everyone can be a celebrity in essence, with some kind of audience.
There is no question that social media changes our views of ourselves and others in drastic ways. We can scroll and see different people, as well as receive varying messages. Comparison is so harmful, but social media makes it so incredibly easy. According to Psychology Today, "algorithms prioritize posts that are more likely to grab your attention, which often means showing content that sparks envy or admiration.” The system of social media is meant to grow based on what you wish for yourself, and “...they’re intentionally designed to amplify comparison.”
Being more confident comes down to actually treating ourselves right and finding the things we want to accomplish and be proud of. It takes work to gain pride, but the more real it is, the longer it lasts.
It takes work to actually be “confident.” Society needs to stop faking confidence for others' perceptions because this is short-lived. Confidence needs to be about self-love and self-admiration; not about how confident we seem on the outside.
Kyra Dapore is a senior studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Want to talk more about it? Let Kyra know by emailing her at kd364521@ohio.edu.
