Once upon a time, in an era long since forgotten (alright, it was just a few years ago in a generation inhabited by our parents), men and women casually dated multiple partners at once. They were foot-loose and fancy-free, and they lived a life of carefree bliss before finally deciding upon “the one.”
Jealousy and betrayal may have happened, but for the most part, multiple partners was not just desired — they were expected. It was not uncommon to have a date with John on Friday and another with James on Saturday. There was no secrecy because the men not only knew of each other, they had multiple “girlfriends” as well.
Growing up, my mother worked hard to instill in me that the teenage years were a time for fun and insouciant dating; they were not a time for long-term relationships and eternal heartbreak. All I can say is, I wish I had listened to her.
Throughout high school I had one boyfriend and one boyfriend only. We dated for nearly two years, but when he left for college at the beginning of my senior year our relationship grew strained.
Unfortunately, because the split was long and drawn-out — and perhaps because we had dated for so long — the split riddled my naive heart with despair and loneliness.
As young adults, we are at a time in our lives when change is unavoidable and versatility is prized, which is where our love lives should be as well. Each week we are afforded the chance to meet dozens of new and interesting people, yet many of us waste that opportunity to explore in favor of safe relationships or drunken hook-ups.
I, for one, am in favor of the return to classical dating: a practice that promotes multiple dates with limited accountability. You answer to yourself, not your dating partner, and you’re given the opportunity to truly figure out who you want to be with without feeling as if you are cheating your partner.
For this idea to take hold we, as a generation, are going to need to keep a few things in mind, the first being that everyone has an equal opportunity.
This means that if you plan on dating multiple men, then they should also be given the same opportunity. This is not a one-sided agreement; both parties must accede to the fact that they’re both going to be with multiple partners and that jealousy cannot come into play.
Equal opportunity also applies to your choice in dates. Because you are not obligated to see a prospective beau for more than a few hours, you can afford to give everyone a shot. No, you do not have to accept the creepy man-child’s invitation for drinks, but you should accept the offer if it comes from a nice guy, even if he wouldn’t usually be your first choice.
The second rule that traditional dating implies is that you will not sleep with all of your dates. Old-school dating is not casual dating. If you want to sleep with every man this side of the Ohio River, I am in no position to stop you — but please don’t use my argument as a basis for your actions.
I am a hopeless romantic at heart, and I believe in giving all men a chance to prove themselves. Perhaps if dating were taken a little more lightly, then even the shyest of men and women would have the audacity to pursue the people they fancy.
Usually I am in favor of moving our generation out of past restrictions and into the new-age mentality, but in the case of youthful dating, I believe that our parents and grandparents were the ones who had the most insightful outlook.
Don’t take your love life so seriously, have fun while you can and hold out for marriage before you settle on monogamy. Trust me, your future self will thank you.
Rachel Sayers is a freshman studying journalism and a columnist for The Post. Email her at rs289910@ohiou.edu.
