Fans got an update Thursday regarding Nick (Mark Pellegrino)’s situation and wiped away a few tears as they prepared for Dean (Jensen Ackles)’s suicide mission in Supernatural. Though yesterday was Dean’s birthday, Supernatural wasn’t afraid to rain on his parade. If you couldn’t watch the episode live, here’s what you missed:

Dean made a steel coffin

In the last episode, Michael (Ackles) was locked away in a freezer in Dean’s mind, where Dean, for the time being, could hold him. Billie (Lisa Berry) told Dean that only one death would end differently than Michael escaping and torching Earth. The episode ended with Billie handing Dean the outcome.

This week picked up with with Dean wanting to go the Donna (Briana Buckmaster)’s cabin to visit Mary (Samantha Smith). Dean packed the car with supplies and books. At the cabin, Dean built a ma’lak box, which is basically a steel coffin that is secured and warded. 

Dean’s plan is to charter a boat to take him out to the Pacific and throw him, in the coffin, overboard. He and Michael would be trapped in the coffin underwater together, forever. Dean hatched the plan because he could feel the door to Michael giving. That was the last book that Billie gave, mind you.

Dean’s plan, no, suicide mission, is psychotic. He knows that, but he is sacrificing himself for the good of humanity. That will remind audiences of Dean’s “I’m past saving” speech back when he had the Mark of Cain.

Dean went on a farewell tour

Before Dean left for the cabin, he hugged Sam (Jared Padalecki), which is a rare instance for the brothers. They only hug if the world is ending, literally. Before Dean visited his mom, he stopped to see Donna and hugged her too. Dean was never much of a hugger, let alone just for a visit. Donna knew this and so did the audience. 

At the cabin, Mary and Dean caught up, but Dean asked for Winchester Surprise, a meal from his childhood that was grease on a plate. It felt obvious that Dean was making up for lost time and trying to create wholesome memories in hopeless place at the same time. It was painful to watch because the fans know Dean thinks he deserves this pain, but the fans also know that Dean lies to himself.

Nick got closure

It’s been a while since Nick has been onscreen. The audience last saw him praying to Lucifer

Nick’s been busy. He was on a revenge spree looking for Abraxas, the demon responsible for killing his family. Abraxas was captured by Mary Winchester, and Nick quickly found Mary in Hibbing, Minnesota and forced her to bring him to Abraxas. After Abraxas had a body to possess, he explained to Nick that his family was killed because Lucifer ordered it “for no particular reason,” meaning Nick was never chosen for Lucifer’s vessel; it was random. 

Nick got his closure, but he also got jail time. 

Here’s what Twitter had to say:

Supernatural airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on The CW.