John Mulaney: a white guy, the owner of a French bulldog named Petunia and, most of all, a stand-up comedian who college kids seem to love. 

With three of his own stand-up specials under his belt (all of which are available on Netflix) — as well as a slew of other ventures, such as Big Mouth and Oh, Hello Broadway — it’s obvious Mulaney is a funny guy with some hilarious bits. We all know Delta Airlines is a nightmare and that 13-year-olds are the meanest people around, but here are some other John Mulaney bits to laugh at: 

Lost in New York?

Featured on his special New In Town, Mulaney explains his childhood fascination with living in New York City, as well as how he views the premise of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Though 27 at the time of the special, Mulaney has some problems with the film. In fact, it would be the highlight of his stand-up if he was a Def Jam comic in the ’90s. Simply put, it’s a grid system, everyone. 

“My wife is a b----, and I like her so much”

Throughout the latter half of his most recent special, Kid Gorgeous, Mulaney took some time to tell jokes about his wife — with her consent, of course. Mulaney’s wife, Annamarie Tendler, had two conditions, and, well, he sort of follows her rules. Most of all, the bit allows viewers to get a bit of insight into the couple’s dynamic relationship. From their trips to Best Buy to the way they carry themselves down the street, their relationship seems to be comedy gold. 

There’s a horse loose in a hospital?

“It’s like there’s a horse loose in a hospital.” That one sentence is all it takes for Mulaney to describe his outlook on the current presidency. Maybe things will be OK, but for the time being no one — especially Mulaney and not even the horse — knows what is going on or will happen next. The best part about this bit is that Mulaney is able to describe the entirety of the president without mentioning his name once. 

Street smarts 

I’m sure we all learned “stranger danger” at some point in our lives. With this bit, Mulaney explains his foray in the topic, as well as his oh-so-lovable yet oh-so-unconventional educator on street smarts: Detective J.J. Bittenbinder. 

Adorned in a three-piece suit with a pocketwatch, a cowboy hat and his huge handlebar mustache, Bittenbinder “made his living in murder.” From the danger of secondary locations to what you should do if you’re kidnapped in the back of a trunk, Bittenbinder covered it all. Just remember kids, get yourself a money clip — you can get them at any haberdashery. 

The Last Supper

While talking about his and his wife’s French bulldog, Mulaney mentions how things went a bit biblical — biblical art to be specific. With the genius idea of putting Petunia in the middle of The Last Supper, Mulaney and his wife oohed and aahed at the idea — well, until his wife got a bit confused. Raised as Jewish compared to Mulaney’s Catholicism, his wife is no stranger to mixing things up, and this time we all get to revel in her mistake. Do you think Jesus enjoyed turkey too? 

@_molly_731

ms660416@ohio.edu

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