I wasn’t there when rapper Afroman performed at Fry’d Fries’ grand opening, but I figured the quality of Athens’ newest restaurant would be just the same on a random Monday afternoon.
This week, in my search for a five-star meal under $5, I decided to review its specialty funnel cake fries.
The first time I tried to order the funnel cake fries, I was told they had been sold out that night. Luckily, I was able to get what I wanted this time.
Perhaps the biggest surprise was that there were no potatoes involved in the product, at least according to my taste buds. Instead, the meal appeared to be your regular fried dough funnel cake, but presented as standard cut fries. The general consensus in The Post’s newsroom was that a fry could not be considered a fry if there were no potatoes involved. For the sake of clarity, though, we’ll call them fries.
The fries themselves were probably the best I’ve had in a long time, potato or not. Anyone who knows me knows I’m usually bored when it comes to french fries, but that was not the case here. It might be more fair to evaluate the meal as funnel cake, but that’s a philosophical debate for another time.
Each fry was fried to a crispy perfection, with a slight crunch on the edge and a soft chewy center. The powdered sugar easily melted onto the side of each piece, likely assisted by some warm grease. The result was a sweet but simple combination.
Despite a soft middle, each fry maintained its structural integrity, with no clear droop whatsoever no matter what angle it was held.
Fry’d’s Funnel Cake Fries are food that knows what they’re about. The product is exactly as advertised and doesn’t try to be anything more. It doesn’t add anything extra the same way fairgrounds try to sell you on adding strawberries or chocolate syrup to a standard funnel cake.
My only complaint, however, was the quantity. When I first asked an employee for a suggestion of a full lunch meal, I was recommended to one of the Prepacked Bowls. Unfortunately, all four items were way over my budget. In sticking with my rules of keeping it under $5, I could only choose a “Buzzed,” or small, portion of the funnel cake fries, which cost a total of $4.91, tax included.
I would definitely recommend the fries for any customer on the go, whether in car or by foot. The cone the food is presented in is easy enough to hold in one hand or place in a cup holder. It only takes two fingers to consume each fry, and a simple lick is good enough to ensure your hands don’t remain sticky afterwards.
Fry’d must have listened to the wise man who once said “Keep it simple, stupid,” when they created this product. Again, my only complaint was that I wish I wasn’t done with the “meal” so soon.
For being a few fries short of perfection, I’ll give Fry’d’s Funnel Cake Fries one star short of perfection.
Kevin Pan is a senior studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Do you know where can Kevin find a 5-star meal for $5? Tell him by messaging him on Instagram at @thenextbigming.