It had been so long. I thought it was done. I thought the furry little freak had finally stopped leaving me sticky, dirty, nasty pages of his diary. But he is back. This time I found it under the awning at Bagel Street Deli. It looks like it was there for a while. He stuck it up there with a piece of chewed gum! He knew I would find it. He just did not know when.
Please, Rufus. Do not do this again. I have had enough.
Here is what the diary page read:
Happy New Year!
I rang in the new year with some of my favorite mascot buddies. I invited them all down to my Cat Cave here in Athens. Zippy the Roo, Freddie and Frieda Falcon, Flash the Golden Eagle and Rocky the Rocket all made it down for the party. We had THE BEST time! It has been so long since I had seen them all outside of the bestest job in the whole wide world.
Flash had some trouble finding Athens again (he doesn’t read well and navigates by “bird sense.” Cat sense is better for obvious reasons). Rocky said he only eats “space food,” but thankfully they sell that over at Boyd Market. It had a “closed” sign on the door but hey, I thought it would be OK to take what I needed for a friend. After all, the students pay for a stealing fee.
Zippy got drunk on Dr. Pepper. Who knew a kangaroo could be taken out so quickly by The Beverage (Or that a kangaroo lives in Akron)? Around 11:30 p.m., the rest of us were gearing up to celebrate the new year without him and all was going so well! Everybody enjoyed the food, catered by Ohio University catering, of course! They had trouble finding the Cat Cave, so I had to fish out the eats from the dumpster behind the Central Food Facility.
We were watching the ball drop on TV live from New York when I got the biggest shock of my sixth life: Swoop the Redhawk swooped in to crash the party! He flapped his wings and knocked over all my tables and handmade New Year New YOU decorations. I used every ounce of my cat power to fight him off, but he left with the buffalo chicken dip, chicken fries and even the nacho cheese dip.
I was left panting, looking around at my destroyed Cat Cave. I mean I get it, I don’t have a door, but the audacity. I helped my friends get cleaned up and all of them went back home (except for Zippy, who remained unconscious for two days).
I was humiliated once again by Swoop, but I now know what my New Year’s Resolution is. I am going to become ultra-buff muscular Rufus. It’s on, Swoop.
Rufus T. Bobcat