Dear Pillow Talk,
I am a social butterfly. I make new friends whenever I can, and my personality fits better with more guys than girls. Any time I talk to a guy he seems to think he can get in my pants. Why is this? I'm just trying to be friendly, and all I get back are cheesy come-ons and text messages that are so excessive they interrupt my day. How can I better direct my intentions with these imperceptive boys?
- Social Butterfly
Social Butterfly,
You should take any means necessary to ensure these boys understand your intentions.
Don't flirt with those guys and don't be a tease. Be careful about what you say to these guys, and pay attention to what kind of activities you invite them. Also, don't dress too cute. You really need to show them you want to be just one of the guys.
By dressing cute and looking good or inviting guys to do things with you that could be misconstrued as dates - movies, meals, etc. - you could be sending them the message that you're interested in more than friendship. I mean, I think we should all know by now that guys really only have one thing on their minds and can't really help it. It's your responsibility to make sure these guys you want to be friends with understand that's all you want.
OK, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm not serious. Well, I'm half serious. Although it isn't your fault these guys are looking for more than friendship (and it isn't, regardless of how you dress or act), you do need to be vocal that you don't appreciate or want these advances.
When you're trying to form a friendship with a new guy, and he misinterprets your friendliness as flirting, set him straight. There's nothing wrong with telling people how it is. Base your aggressiveness on how aggressive they are to you. Most of these guys will be a little embarrassed and back off, but if they are persistent, stay strong and clearly communicate what you're looking for. If these guys aren't OK with that, you don't need to be friends with them anyway.
- Mallory Long is a senior studying journalism and women's studies. Ask her your questions about sex and love in the culture section of thepost.ohiou.edu, at postpillowtalk@gmail.com or follow Pillow Talk on Twitter at @post_pillowtalk.
3 Culture
Mallory Long
