My boyfriend and I love to hang out and spend time together. But sometimes that's just not enough, you know? Of course we fool around and make out, but he really wants to have sex and my religion forbids sex before marriage. I think that we WILL get married after graduation, but what if I jinx it or get sent to hell because I broke the law? What can I do to satisfy him without compromising my views?
I’m going to open a can of worms.
Okay, I’m done. That was very gross and you should never do that. Where I found a can of worms I do not know, the nearest bait & tackle store is 15 miles away and not open this late. (Unless you are buying night crawlers – bah-zing!)
But here’s the real icky, squirmy thing you are combining: sex and religion.
Whether you are atheist, agnostic, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Tarvuist, Wiccan or other, everyone runs into the question of whether or when sex is right.
You say sex is not consistent with the facts or beliefs within your religion and I am not here to question that. Lightening scares me. I want to know if sex is consistent with the facts and beliefs that make up you. Outside of religion, outside of jinxing marriage, outside of freaky Mormon hell fire, outside of you – what do you want on the inside?
If it’s sex, well then more flower power to you, girl. Ya ya! Enjoy.
If it’s keeping your virginity, that is more than okay too. I’m pro-kay with virgins.
How you satisfy him (yummy) without compromising your views is a hard easy though. (You know, those things that are easy because you know the answer. But it’s a hard easy because it’s tough to do when it all boils down to it. Well now it sounds like we are talking about cooking eggs. We are not … but again, yummy.)
He needs to be most satisfied from knowing that your decision makes you happy.
Other satisfaction can come from kisses, tongues, hand jobs, blowjobs, naked Twister, touching yourselves, dry humping, petting, peek-a-boob, vibrator play and anything outside of his penis being in your vagina. Be careful with all this “drawing a line in the sand” business, however. One drunken night (I don’t know if you drink, I am just assuming. Do you drink? We should grab a drink sometime) can quickly lead to funny business. Tell him yes or no and be specific so that you leave no room for error.
“No” never sounds sexy, but having the balls to say it is pretty darn hot.
It will be hard when he is begging. But in the end, giving away your virginity is a bigger deal than giving him a hand job. It’s not just something that should go down in the back of the marching band bus after an away football game. (Yes, I know from experience. There were a lot of good plumes lost that night.)
Most important: You admire God’s work? Well, it’s okay to be an admirer of your own work too. You are one of the best decision makers you know.
Just ask yourself.
Steph Doan is a senior studying journalism. Struggling to think of ways to get frisky? Send her your sex and relationship questions at thebedpostpeople@gmail.com.
