I’ve just started dating a guy I’ve had a huge crush on FOREVER. He graduated, so we’re trying this long distance. Obviously, with only getting to see him about once a month, it’s kind of important that we have sex while he visits. Unfortunately, I’m going to be on my period while he is here this weekend. Having sex on my period is not an option, so how do I tell him without freaking him out?
For this week’s pleasant Monday mental image, imagine a blood-sucking, worm-like creature slowly eating your tongue until it’s a dried-up stub.
Finally, Lady Gaga weighs in. I’ll admit, I’ve always had my reservations about the meat-wearing pop star for a number of reasons. Mostly because I don’t trust people who casually show up to places in eggs, but that’s neither here nor there.
I have a fair interest in Japanese culture. I like their food, their history and their potentially-criminal game shows.
The rifle in my hand was cool to the touch, and I could feel the deadly killing power that existed behind its sleek frame. In no way did this stop me from casually tossing it up in the air and catching it later, clumsily, with one hand as the other held the phone against my ear. “So all I have to do is just wait for the guy to show up, shoot him, and then I get the money, right?”
Once in a while, science does me a solid.
A century-old atlas tucked away in the archives of Ohio Univer sity’s Alden Library shows Athens spotted with red markings where archeological evidence of Native American inhabitance has been found. A constellation of ciphers indicating burial mounds, en closures and village sites cover the 2.3 square-mile parish that is now The Plains.
Seeing the leaves change color during my senior year of college reminded me of what an overused metaphor autumn is. But it’s impossible to deny that everything will be changing pretty soon.
In Chinese, the word “nation” (guo jia) includes “country” (guo) and “family” (jia). For us, the country is a big family that consists of many small families. The well-being of these small families is affected by the conditions of the big one. Conversely, the small families also affect the big one, especially through their fundamental parenting ideas.
I have a theory that the more complicated the sport, the more popular it is at Ohio University. I developed this theory while watching a volleyball game, which turned out to be a lot more elaborate than I expected. I was struggling to keep track of all the points, which were tallying up quickly, when suddenly the scoreboard reset and instead of 25 points, we had only one. That’s when I learned what a set was.
It’s been five weeks and cooking has lost its excitement. It has become something I just have to do in order to survive. I decided to bring back the excitement in the kitchen and create my own cooking game show.
Most of us are familiar with our bagels: blueberry bagels, chocolate bagels … but saline bagels? If you’ve already been visually scarred by the photos running rampant on Facebook, then you’re familiar with the Asian trend that has people around the Western Hemisphere cringing in horror.
Invest in dead bodies, people. They’re as good a piece of real estate as anything else.
Zumba was one of the worst experiences of my life. I know, the abrupt start seems unprofessional, but it was better than my original column idea of just repeating “Zumba sucks” for 500 words like an even more deranged Jack Nicholson from The Shining.
Wow, there are a lot of people in this gym. I was seriously hoping this place would be empty. Is there like, maybe, a private workout stall I can use? Is that a thing? I don’t think that’s a thing.
As I was walking from my dorm room to the Athens Police station, I began wondering what my ride-along would be like. Would it be like the movie Training Day, or more along the lines of the TV show Reno 911?
It was Sunday afternoon and I was hungry. I was sick of eating ravioli and baked potatoes. I no longer was craving pancakes and other quick meals. I couldn’t take it anymore — I needed real food, but I didn’t know what to make.
When I asked Amy Goodman, the executive producer and host of the news program Democracy Now!, about persistence in a social movement, the answer was surprisingly yet reasonably simple: “Just stick to it.”
Now that I have a TV in my dorm room and all I do in my leisure time is take advantage of the free HBO, I’ve been seeing a ton of commercials for boxing.
This isn't a eulogy.